Nits

On a small update on ‘What about’ it would appear I have nits, the kids
have nits and I’m itching. After a thorough inspection at work we’ve
decided IF I have nits its in no way infestation, just a rouge evil nit.
So date 4 with ‘What about’ will involve me putting nit lotion on me,
followed by him to ensure carefree cuddles…My dating life really is
cursed – although the fact that he doesnt mind makes him more epic

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PC Stalker

So on my hunt for the next date to form the originally 21 I came across
PC Stalker was the first of many stalkers, and by stalkers I mean the
sort of person who sends you 20 texts an hour making you instantly
regret handing over your number.
Is it so wrong that occasionally I’m actually working and can’t reply?
This is made worse by me finally looking at my phone to realise in every
message PC Stalker called me Lauren and was getting more and more
frustrated that I was ignoring him.
It’s fair to say this little stalker was cut off immediately and I moved
on to the next more normal appearing date, although by this point I was
wondering what normal is. I was also questioning why I was still talking
to people, The Adonis was still in contact most nights and we we’re
getting more and more comfortable with our chats. It seemed wrong to go
on dates with other people, yet even he said I should be chatting to
others and going out, apparently if it was meant to be between us it
would happen.

Pants Man

I only hope someone knows this guy and can point him to my blog

This weekend is a kids weekend so all is quiet on the dating front – the only thing of any intrest was the dog eating my Valentines day rose. I was drying it out and in true puppy style she found it and shredded it, dried rose petals all over the kitchen. I was unamused, Maybe ‘What about’ will feel bad and buy me some flowers as a replacement?! HAHA

Ok so lets return to the original 21.

As you know I was talking to the Adonis and falling head over heels for a man in a war zone whom I’d never met before. Now im not totally stupid, whilst I’d never have acknowledged this at the time there was no guarentee he was coming back so I continued in my dating search and was asked on a date!

All the dating panel said I should go for it, it was still another 6 weeks until the Adonis returned and for some stupid reason I listened to the panel – again…

I suggested we go to the Battle of the Proms at Burghley house, I’d always wanted to go and could think of nothing nicer for a first date, romantic, picnic, spot of champaign and if we had nothing to say we could sit in silence and enjoy the music, really its what first dates should all be about!

Things went a little wrong when I suggested this, as he immedietly replied to say he was busy with his paretns,so first black mark he chose a day with his parents over potentially the best first date ever, sadly things just got worse, I suggested the dates I was free and we could go for a quick drink – unfortunately he responded with a picture of him in his pants. Not just any pants though, were talking Tommy Hillfigure tighty tight pants as he’s posing in the bathroom mirror.

EWWWWW Check mate – Pants man was out of the dating game.

On the bright side it cheered the dating panel up. One such Geordie member of the panel thought he was fit, cant say it was quite the answer I was looking for, but the whole internet dating was originally her idea and im ever more convinced its just a sick plan to bring laughter into her life. Its fair to say the picture was sent round everyone at work and uploaded to facebook. The comments that followed were epic and I can only hope one day he is tagged.

On the plus side The Adnois called on the Sunday. He’s allowed one 30 minute phone call a week abd he called me! I couldnt believe it, and his voice – WOW! It ws deep and yet he spoke with no accent just clear well pronounced and a tiny bit posh, my heart melted and it spurred me on thinking the world of internet dating isnt that bad after all.

Geordie friend forgiven!

Freak out

I think there is a part on any new relationship where youhave a freak out moment, for meits the leaving of stuff. As soon as a bloke leaves something I panic, the boyfriend before the last did it and I panicked, in fact the only reason me and the most recent ex stayed together so long was because he was as petrified of commitment as I am.

A semi ex, part of the original 21 lleft a blender after cooking one evening, I totally freaked out and made him take it away. He was itching to bring it back and I was watching like a hawk to make sure it didnt return – I finally got to the stage I thought i’d show some kind of gesture that it wasnt quite so scary by giving him a draw. I didnt want his crap everywhere but I’d at least let it stay in a draw out of sight. Then today I realised ‘What about’ had left some stuff in the bathroom and I FREAKED. Despite saying to him and colleagues at work it was worrying, for me the worrying thing is that actually having his stuff there wasnt a problem.

I actually like the idea hes coming back to use them.

The Adonis

So tonight is date number 3 with ‘What about’ Im an excited person! Its also my daughters birthday – she’s 6, how did that happen?! So straight from work Im rushing home to walk to the dog, going straight round to see her at her Dads, followed by shooting home to shower as my legs are almost as hairy as the dogs and meet ‘What about’ whose arriving 630-7….Easy right?!
So I’m going to tell you all about the Adonis, I first mentioned him in
the post ‘The Week Ahead’, the Adonis is very much an ongoing story so this is the first of many posts about him.

Adonis
I started talking to a guy Im calling the Adonis, 6ft6 of sheer loveliness, everything about this guy seemed perfect. He was a proper mans man, didn’t mind and seemed to like the fact I was quite girly. He has his own place, liked kids, was in the forces, oh yeah he was in the forces and currently based in Afghanistan, slight issue with him being on the other side of the world, but in theory this gave us a couple of months to talk and really get to know each other. We spoke every night, sometimes in the middle of the night due to the time difference.
We talked about all the things we were going to do when he came back, he had this huge romantic idea of the first time we met he would just bend down and kiss me, no hello, nothing, just a kiss.
The more and more we talked the more perfect this seemed, if I had a bad day I’d pour my heart out, if he had a bad day I’d talk about random frivolous stuff – only once did he appear to be struggling whilst out there and that was when a friend had died.

Some times the comms were cut his end and I wouldn’t hear from him for a couple of days, I’d follow the news and make sure nothing had happened, no-one had died. There was a story of a young lad who had wondered off site and been killed, only by the age did I know it wasn’t the Adonis. I hadn’t met the guy but already I was panicking and avoiding the news, I
still to this day have no idea how parents, partners and children watch loved ones go to war.

I guess the key is to continue with your life and have faith they will
come back safely, until then I distracted myself by talking and going on dates.

BFG

I think there is something to be said for tall people, I love looking up at people or having a really tall person hold my hand, I can’t help it,
its reassuring. So when I came across the BFG of 6″4 I squeaked and realised I had to meet this person, he appeared to have a great sense of humour was not just in the Army, but worked on an RAF base as police, that’s almost 3 lots of uniform in one giant package. Now Im aware I have ‘What about’ and I very much like ‘What about’ (lots and lots to the point I don’t want to get too carried away…..but in my head I am living happy ever after) so the BFG was purely a friend meet and he was fully aware of ‘What about’ it was simply that we’d been talking for weeks so it seemed odd not to meet as friends.
I’ve come to realise after guys get to a certain height the air must
thin out and starve the brain of oxygen – it’s the only logic behind why so many are gormless, the BFG was no exception, so whilst it makes them great as friends for a laugh and running round being silly they are in no way suitable boyfriends.
So me and my BFG went to Toys R us as I needed a present for my
daughters birthday.
Mayhem happened in Toys R us, upon reflection it was a silly place for me to go without a responsible adult, toys to play with, buttons to
press, hello kitty glasses to try on, not forgetting the hats and the
honky horn I found….and bought.
We bumped into my Dad, who was also buying a birthday present for my daughter, his opening line “so which one is this then” Thanks Dad!! I don’t hear from you for months and that’s the first line, thank god it wasn’t a date date. Following toys r us we nipped to the pub for a drink, and I bumped into a friend from work, there is something disturbing about being out and constantly meeting people you know, certainly put him on edge!
At one point during the drinks the conversation slowed right down and I was looking at Facebook on my phone, I noticed ‘What about’ had an accident at work so was immediately texting to check he was ok – it was a good time to make my excuses and leave.
Insanely awkward moment at the end of the evening when he went to kiss me, the head moved so only my cheek was accessible and I quickly hoped in my car. It would appear friend dates don’t necessarily work, which is a shame because he’s definitely the sort to take to the park or toys r us, any activity really that doesn’t involve talking.

Miss independent dates a policeman

Right Im caving in, I’ve taken a liking to ‘What about’ we have a third
date organised and I’m not going to give you guys too much juicy details
so here marks the start of my 21 of my internet dates.
I will confess the first dating site I joined was Uniform dating – Im
only a tiny bit ashamed of that, like most girls I like a man in
uniform, a little bit of rough to be my knight in shining armour.
My first organised date was with a policeman from Cambridge, everything
about this guy sounded good, nice and tall, policeman, grew vegetables,
kept chickens all round nice guy and he seemed to have a sense of humour
like mine, for a start he was a fan of sickipedia, he was also South
African – that was enough for the Panel to rule him out. Well my date
buddy ruled him out, she decided he wasn’t going to be suitable.
I figured as it’s the first date and I’d like to come across as Miss
Independent not in need of a man, I would go and meet him, I spent ages
umming and ahhhring over what to wear, settled for jeans, a top that
wasn’t too revealing and my killer Paparazzi handbag, god bless that
handbag.
To begin with, I got lost, which is always a bad start – I phoned my
policeman who told me to wait where I was and he would come and find me,
already he seemed like a knight in shining armour. He arrived on his
motorbike and I must admit with first instincts my heart sank a little,
he had a ‘nice’ face to him, the sort you would introduce to your Mum
but possibly couldn’t imagine as a bit of rough, he probably thought the
same, whilst I was dressed well my assets were covered, his quick up and
down appraisal of me looked like one of slight disappointment.
I followed him back to his place in my car, weirdly instead of going
straight out he insisted on introducing me to everyone. I should
probably point out at this point he was living in shared accommodation 3
houses in a row rammed full of coppers. Meeting everyone seemed odd, he
introduced me to the cats, rabbits and chickens which was a little odd –
but it was my first date in a while and apparently his so maybe he was
just trying to show me what a nice guy he was…or it was some weird way
to get me into his bedroom.
After all the introductions were done I suggested we went for food
-almost anything to just escape from the stares of all his housemates.
We hopped in my car and I reversed off his drive, although when I say
reverse off I only went so far before there was a hideous metal
scrapping sound. I stopped, looked all around and realised there was a
wall blocking my path, I had no idea how to get my car away from the
wall, all I could think was this is my brand new Fiesta with less than
500 miles on the clock and I had broken it.
When I looked up there were 5 of his housemates, all in a line laughing,
so not only did I drive into a wall on a date, I did it in front of lots
of policemen.
I looked at my date and squeaked, he offered to reverse my car, The only
problem was, I couldn’t get out my side due to said wall.
He climbed out passenger side,
I climbed out climbing across to the passenger side,
He climbed in across the passenger side and reversed my car up and away
from the wall.
He then refused to let me drive and this man I’d met less than an hour
ago was driving my car to the curry house, all I wanted to do was cry
about my car, instead I smiled and said oh well these things happen and
tried to forget it….except I didn’t forget it, all evening he was
talking and all I could think about was my poor car and barley
acknowledged what he was saying.
We ate curry, we had a quick drink, he drove us back where he got out,
and no word of a lie he ran to his front door, no goodnight kiss, no
waiting for me to get out the passenger side into the drivers side – he
just ran. It was either because I ignored him all night, there was no
attraction there or because I’m the worst driver ever, either way, I
won’t be seeing him again.

To make matters worse the journey home was unbearable, Cambridge to
Peterborough really isn’t that difficult, and yet somehow when I looked
at the signs I was on my way to Bedford, with much useless navigation,
cursing and swearing I saw a sign for Stansted, logic told me if I
headed towards there and turned around at the next roundabout I would at
least be on the A1 and all would be good.
I got home just before midnight.

So I learnt a few things that night;
Invest in a sat nav,
Never drive too far on a first date, or meet half way
Wear a top that shows a little cleavage – first impressions count, if
you’ve got it, flaunt it.
Most importantly never ever agree to more than just a drink on a first
date because a meal and a drink with no spark and nothing to talk about,
is hideous.