Right Im caving in, I’ve taken a liking to ‘What about’ we have a third
date organised and I’m not going to give you guys too much juicy details
so here marks the start of my 21 of my internet dates.
I will confess the first dating site I joined was Uniform dating – Im
only a tiny bit ashamed of that, like most girls I like a man in
uniform, a little bit of rough to be my knight in shining armour.
My first organised date was with a policeman from Cambridge, everything
about this guy sounded good, nice and tall, policeman, grew vegetables,
kept chickens all round nice guy and he seemed to have a sense of humour
like mine, for a start he was a fan of sickipedia, he was also South
African – that was enough for the Panel to rule him out. Well my date
buddy ruled him out, she decided he wasn’t going to be suitable.
I figured as it’s the first date and I’d like to come across as Miss
Independent not in need of a man, I would go and meet him, I spent ages
umming and ahhhring over what to wear, settled for jeans, a top that
wasn’t too revealing and my killer Paparazzi handbag, god bless that
To begin with, I got lost, which is always a bad start – I phoned my
policeman who told me to wait where I was and he would come and find me,
already he seemed like a knight in shining armour. He arrived on his
motorbike and I must admit with first instincts my heart sank a little,
he had a ‘nice’ face to him, the sort you would introduce to your Mum
but possibly couldn’t imagine as a bit of rough, he probably thought the
same, whilst I was dressed well my assets were covered, his quick up and
down appraisal of me looked like one of slight disappointment.
I followed him back to his place in my car, weirdly instead of going
straight out he insisted on introducing me to everyone. I should
probably point out at this point he was living in shared accommodation 3
houses in a row rammed full of coppers. Meeting everyone seemed odd, he
introduced me to the cats, rabbits and chickens which was a little odd –
but it was my first date in a while and apparently his so maybe he was
just trying to show me what a nice guy he was…or it was some weird way
to get me into his bedroom.
After all the introductions were done I suggested we went for food
-almost anything to just escape from the stares of all his housemates.
We hopped in my car and I reversed off his drive, although when I say
reverse off I only went so far before there was a hideous metal
scrapping sound. I stopped, looked all around and realised there was a
wall blocking my path, I had no idea how to get my car away from the
wall, all I could think was this is my brand new Fiesta with less than
500 miles on the clock and I had broken it.
When I looked up there were 5 of his housemates, all in a line laughing,
so not only did I drive into a wall on a date, I did it in front of lots
I looked at my date and squeaked, he offered to reverse my car, The only
problem was, I couldn’t get out my side due to said wall.
He climbed out passenger side,
I climbed out climbing across to the passenger side,
He climbed in across the passenger side and reversed my car up and away
from the wall.
He then refused to let me drive and this man I’d met less than an hour
ago was driving my car to the curry house, all I wanted to do was cry
about my car, instead I smiled and said oh well these things happen and
tried to forget it….except I didn’t forget it, all evening he was
talking and all I could think about was my poor car and barley
acknowledged what he was saying.
We ate curry, we had a quick drink, he drove us back where he got out,
and no word of a lie he ran to his front door, no goodnight kiss, no
waiting for me to get out the passenger side into the drivers side – he
just ran. It was either because I ignored him all night, there was no
attraction there or because I’m the worst driver ever, either way, I
won’t be seeing him again.
To make matters worse the journey home was unbearable, Cambridge to
Peterborough really isn’t that difficult, and yet somehow when I looked
at the signs I was on my way to Bedford, with much useless navigation,
cursing and swearing I saw a sign for Stansted, logic told me if I
headed towards there and turned around at the next roundabout I would at
least be on the A1 and all would be good.
I got home just before midnight.
So I learnt a few things that night;
Invest in a sat nav,
Never drive too far on a first date, or meet half way
Wear a top that shows a little cleavage – first impressions count, if
you’ve got it, flaunt it.
Most importantly never ever agree to more than just a drink on a first
date because a meal and a drink with no spark and nothing to talk about,