What about – the current day

So I guess that brings us to now, 1 January 2013, I stated a while ago 2 things, one that I had 21 dates prior to What about, and yet I’ve only written up 17, that’s not a deliberate mistake so you weren’t sure when I would meet him I’ve simply forgotten them, 5 dates were so meaningless, there was nothing worth remembering – and it has been 10 months since I started writing this blog, that’s pretty depressing especially as some of the guys I have remembered were losers, although I’ve no doubt some of them think that of me!! The other thing is that whilst I was writing about other dates it meant that ‘what about’ was still on the scene and yet here I am writing. Well he is still about; I just hate leaving anything unfinished even if it is a blog that no-one reads! It’s been 10 1/2 months and whilst they haven’t all been easy and we have had a couple of rows I wouldn’t change him for the world – it’s a total bloody cliché but the minute I start writing about my dates, I meet someone not only that but our first date is on Valentines day and he is the one.

So highlights of the last 10 1/2 months. We went to my Sisters wedding in May, he looked amazing in a suit and we ended the night in a champagne bar on the beach For his birthday I took him away for the weekend and we drank champagne in Selfridges We have a boat – we like to drink bubbles on that also We declared our love at Butlin’s -Butlin’s don’t serve champagne We have our own Ginger Tom called Badger (His blog is to follow) – he does not like champagne We spent Christmas and New Year together – We drank Champagne

So there you have it, Internet dating isn’t easy, but no dating is but when you find the right person its worth it…he’s also just walked through the door after taking his Nephew fishing. Prince charming does exist and he’s all mine.

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The footballer second date

By the time we got home we were exhausted, the dog had thrown up in the car twice and I just wanted a hot bath, the footballer had been in touch throughout as and when I could get a signal and wanted to see me, this time I was far too tired to go out so he came round, we had Chinese and I was warm, we laughed lots about the trip, except for the bit where I slept with Ady – surely a guy in the Army realises sometimes warmth is more important and who the hell cares when its separate sleeping bags on the same bed. Well he cared and that was that, still if I was in minus temperatures again I’d do exactly the same thing!

The holiday

iceTwo days after our date I was going away for a long weekend with my mate Ady on the Norfolk Broads, I’d booked it back when Mr Convenient and I were seeing each other and Ady was the only person daft enough to go with me. Yes it was the end of January but they don’t sell boating holidays unless the boats can go out in all weather would they?! Actually yes they would. Whilst not a date I did end up sleeping with him so what the hell, I may as well include it here. We arrived and had a short lesson on driving the boat, the yard gave us a map and marked on all the pubs and within 40 minutes we were off on our own. We turned the heating on, then up then realised it just didn’t work except out of one little blower. For anyone that doesn’t know much about boats like me, this was a broads cruiser, you drove from the front with a bedroom cabin at the back and it is designed so in the summer the front bit where you driving can be removed, it’s just held on with a few ties making it quick and easy in the summer and complete and utter toss wank at keeping the heat in, in the winter. The temperature was in the minuses and whilst enjoyable as the sun went down we realised we needed to moor and were no where near where we’d been aiming for. We found the nearest pub on the map and headed towards it, or as close as we could get, which was about a mile. We were in a lovely secluded area, surrounded by woods – we hopped off the boat with the dog, walked down a deserted country lane without a house in sight until we saw the pub and about 10 houses. We turned back with the dog assuming that the walk would be enough and we could leave her in the boat whilst we took the long walk back to the pub. By this point it was pitch black, we were in the middle of no where, there were no street lights and we were cold. We arrived back at the pub only to find it was closed until 1730. It was only 1700, so we sat and we waited, curtains twitched as people stared at us until finally the pub opened, the fire was roaring and they kindly made us a cup of tea. We sat with some locals, one particularly charming old man stood by the fire with his hands down his pants and smelling of damp came and sat with us, we’ve no idea what he was saying but we nodded, ummed and ahhed a little before finally going back to the boat. By this time all locals knew where we were, down a dark country lane all alone and we’d seen one too many horror films the result was us panicking about being abused by inbred Norfolk folk with 6 fingers and toes. Back on the boat things were no better, it was minus 6 bloody cold and the only DVDs we’d bought were bloody horror films. Thanks to the pitiful heating we had the gas stove on and sat closely with all our layers, every cup of tea treasured for its warmth but quickly followed by a trip to the toilet. As a girl I cannot stand a wee, I’m also on the short side, sadly my feet didn’t touch the floor and every time I sat on the cold toilet I was convinced there would be a black ring of frost bite on my bum. It was about 10 when we decided to call it a night, the back cabin was the only completely contained and sealed area on the boat, so despite being more like brother and sister we realised the only way to stay warm would be to both sleep in there together. Still when in Norfolk….

The next day we awoke frozen, I’ve no idea how I got to sleep, I know Ady didn’t sleep but that was more because of my snoring. We let the dog off for a wee, she had already wee’d and Poo’d on the boat but I was prepared for that and started cleaning. Sadly where I cleaned came off far cleaner than the rest of the floor so I had to rub mud back into the carpet so it wasn’t obvious.

It got worse when we realised we were iced in, it was a good 2 inches thick in places and we had no phone signal to call for help. We tried breaking the ice and that didn’t work, so we did what all inexperienced boaters do and we sailed anyway, every inch we went was full of crunching sounds and it took us half an hour and we didn’t even get out of the mooring area, we did however manage to see the lake and realise that was also frozen, by this time I’d found the Ice section in our boating manual, that said under no circumstances try and drive in the ice, remember Titanic?!

It took over 6 hours for them to rescue us and break the ice enough to get through to the main waters which were still flowing, the snow was due any minute and the boat had to be back at 9am the following day, we decided to quit, we took the boat back to the marina, got in the car, put the heating on and drove to the nearest Tesco just as the snow started.

16 Footballer

Did I ever mention I dated a footballer? Well I did, I didn’t realise at the time though, if I had I’d have said no without a doubt, this guy told me he was in the Army, he was a fitness instructor and I am shallow, I did want to check him out for this basis alone. We had our first date in the George (Yes Stamford where you only go if someone else is paying) sadly we split the bill 50/50 and stuck to drinks only, no way I can afford a starter let alone a main. We actually had a really great time, a lot of laughing, never a dull moment, he didn’t try particularly hard at school but loved football and fitness and joined the army, when he was placed at near Rutland he was offered a place playing for a football team, and practiced every Thursday night and played most Saturdays. I politely explained I wouldn’t be going to watch and cheer him on but if he had fun and it didn’t cost much to kick a ball abut with a few mates then good for him, I’ll go shopping. He was insanely insulted by this point, not because I wouldn’t cheer him on, he agreed the girls doing that are a little bit pathetic and may as well wave their latest GU test results in the air but because I assumed he paid to play. Turns out he was he one getting paid, now he’s no David Beckham but £200 a match isn’t bad on top of an Sergeants’ salary – Now I knew why we were at The George, although had I bloody realised I would NOT have paid £9 for two drinks when it was my round.

15 Spinny

My date with the plasterer was a bit of nothingness I have to admit, I can’t quite tell if I’m jaded by the whole experience or what but this was my 15th date, I just couldn’t be bothered – quick coffee, see what I think then leave, none of this had worked before Christmas, why was it going to work after? Spinny was the actual name he gave me, nickname all his mates use apparently and he was from the same village I spent the second half of my childhood, except as we were chatting over coffee things he was saying didn’t make sense. I hadn’t been to the village in over 10 years but it couldn’t have changed that much? Well no it hadn’t, turns out he didn’t even live there, so he gave his nickname as a real name and lied about where he lived all because he was worried I may be a crazy internet stalker. Who knew that your name and area you lived in was so top secret…mind you after policeman no 3 maybe he had a point? Either way he said he didn’t like dogs and that was enough to rule him out.

Stalker alert

I found another stalker!! This time a Scottish stalker, we went on a date in the same pub I met the Scientist and actually it was an ok date, he was dark and brooding – you’d have to meet him to see it but dark and brooding is exactly the description for this guy. He had kids and a wife he was separated from, she was screwing him over for maintenance and he was paying for her house, her not to work, her new partner to move in and for his 2 kids. He wasn’t bitter though, he was over the moon living with his Mum!! Actually, it’s true he wasn’t bitter. He said he worked long hours, it had been that way for a year and he genuinely seemed only bothered because he couldn’t see the kids more, as they were in Scotland. We organised a second date and I was quite looking forward to it, I’d had a crap day at work however and was incredibly tired, he wasn’t too sure what time he’d be back from work, as an engineer he was on the road lots and by the time he’d text it was half 8 and I was half hoping he’d cancel, I did say I was tired, except when he immediately text back to say he’d just come and see me at mine it seemed just a little too keen, I told him it was fine and I’d meet him at The Pub, the same pub I’d met the Lazy Eyed Hobbit, the benefits Looser and cock man, but this was a second date so what could possibly go wrong?

Well for a start he turned up straight from work, he’d been out since 5am and stank to high heaven; it was a struggle to stop my nose from visibly curling up and to stop the gagging noises coming from my throat. I really couldn’t sit there for too much longer drinking and talking to this guy who needed to shower so badly paint was peeling and people from other tables noticed the smell. I said I was tired and had a headache, a cliché I know but to be honest I just didn’t care. Turns out if you have a headache what you need is a weekend away, it would appear he immediately got home and started organising a time for us to go away together, all expenses paid by him because it’s what I needed, fair to say when he text me all this the next day I panicked, what sort of person pays for a holiday for someone after just 1.5 dates?? Actually in hindsight I know, the sort of guy who’s taken to the cleaners by his ex wife and thinks money is all women want. He was way to persistent for my liking and each time I said no the offers just got more expensive, shopping, new clothes, a spa day…it’s a shame, but he’ll make someone a nice bitch one day.

Bookmark

Bookmark was labelled as such because he liked books, I like books – it was the first thing we started chatting about. He had a daughter as well so had some idea what kids are all about, we were chatting loads but he worked in a shop so had weird shifts which didn’t seem to work around when I was free so we spent several weeks just talking and texting. In the end I just didn’t bother – why should it be so difficult to organize a day, it had nothing to do with him working in a shop on a crap salary which I absolutely did not look up online