I found another stalker!! This time a Scottish stalker, we went on a date in the same pub I met the Scientist and actually it was an ok date, he was dark and brooding – you’d have to meet him to see it but dark and brooding is exactly the description for this guy. He had kids and a wife he was separated from, she was screwing him over for maintenance and he was paying for her house, her not to work, her new partner to move in and for his 2 kids. He wasn’t bitter though, he was over the moon living with his Mum!! Actually, it’s true he wasn’t bitter. He said he worked long hours, it had been that way for a year and he genuinely seemed only bothered because he couldn’t see the kids more, as they were in Scotland. We organised a second date and I was quite looking forward to it, I’d had a crap day at work however and was incredibly tired, he wasn’t too sure what time he’d be back from work, as an engineer he was on the road lots and by the time he’d text it was half 8 and I was half hoping he’d cancel, I did say I was tired, except when he immediately text back to say he’d just come and see me at mine it seemed just a little too keen, I told him it was fine and I’d meet him at The Pub, the same pub I’d met the Lazy Eyed Hobbit, the benefits Looser and cock man, but this was a second date so what could possibly go wrong?
Well for a start he turned up straight from work, he’d been out since 5am and stank to high heaven; it was a struggle to stop my nose from visibly curling up and to stop the gagging noises coming from my throat. I really couldn’t sit there for too much longer drinking and talking to this guy who needed to shower so badly paint was peeling and people from other tables noticed the smell. I said I was tired and had a headache, a cliché I know but to be honest I just didn’t care. Turns out if you have a headache what you need is a weekend away, it would appear he immediately got home and started organising a time for us to go away together, all expenses paid by him because it’s what I needed, fair to say when he text me all this the next day I panicked, what sort of person pays for a holiday for someone after just 1.5 dates?? Actually in hindsight I know, the sort of guy who’s taken to the cleaners by his ex wife and thinks money is all women want. He was way to persistent for my liking and each time I said no the offers just got more expensive, shopping, new clothes, a spa day…it’s a shame, but he’ll make someone a nice bitch one day.
Well the first 2 policemen didn’t work out, and yes I’m ignoring the weird one I didn’t actually meet. Third time lucky right?! So this guy, totally confident -convinced I will fancy him and I’m ashamed to say his cockiness actually attracted me a little He commuted into Peterborough for work so at the end of his shift I met him at the train station and we had a coffee, he looked older than he claimed and he was a smoker, something else he failed to mention, he also looked like crap. Not because he was ugly but because he hadn’t shaved and look dog tired, He didn’t appreciate me saying he looked more like a drunken security guard as he was quick to get his badge out and prove he was a policeman. Talking to he was alright, and who knows, when he hasn’t done a 12 hour night shift may not usually look that bad so I agreed to a second date, he had a week off work so he was going to let me know what worked for him when he was back to work. Then the texting started. What is it with policemen and texting? They certainly weren’t nice how are you texts but filthy texts that I slap a boyfriend for sending let alone a bloke I met once. I told him this and refused to see him again.
Many people will take the hint, but not this guy – but I’ve realised that’s because Policemen are split into two camps, the really truly lovely guys…I’m only basing this on one person I know who is nice but also a policeman (and yes, he’s taken) or they are utter knobs. Policeman 3 is an utter knob, texts aren’t enough for this guy, oh no he turned up on my doorstep. He handed me a note and asked him to call him whilst staring at the man in my living room – on the note was his phone number. The man in my living room was the kids Dad and I’ve got to say it was the one and only time I’ll ever be grateful he’s still around. I phoned Policeman 3 and in a slightly grumpy way told him never to come near me again, I hadn’t given this guy my address and I had no problem reporting him, my policeman friend didn’t know who he was and thankfully I didn’t hear anymore from Policeman 3.
Ok so this weekend has been beyond epic. I spent it with ‘What about’ he has met one member of the panel who approves and I met his sister – it wasn’t as scary as I thought, and his 4 year old Nephew invited me straight to his bedroom, that cheeky chappy got further than any other man on a first meet,although I quickly went off him when he said his sea monster dressing gown wouldn’t fit, I’ll stick with his Uncle!
So focus on the weirdest thing that’s happened in an insanely ling time, in my dating experience there have been some odd ones, what can only be described as socially inept, one of my original 21 yet to be written about, was incredibly smarmy, the more this guy spoke the less I liked him. I was convinced he was only after one thing and worse I had a sneaky suspicion he was married. So I won’t spoil the original story but we had one coffee, he dropped me off, text me on and off and soon got the hint as I just ignored him.
Today however Mr Smarm walked straight up to my door, in full policeman uniform.
The kids had just arrived back, were upstairs getting ready and their Dad was giving me the low down on behavior, nits etc, I look up and there is Mr Smarm knocking on the door, he saw the kids Dad, without batting an eyelid said – “just in the area on an arrest so I’m dropping this off, if you could sign and post it back. Thanks”
I closed the door opened the paper and to my amasement it was his number and him saying call me I’m on duty until half 6.
Now I’m not stupid, I text Mr Smarmy. Told him very clearly it was bad timing as the kids had got back but that I had started seeing someone.
Mr Smarmy being the true slimy Smarm monster that he is replied with “Me to, but thought we could have some no strings fun”
I mean seriously?! I ignored the message….got another, “dont want to leave things like this as I like you, but I can understand that you’d like to stay faithful” urgh words cannot describe how dirty I feel just by seeing him and then I realised whilst he may have dropped me off first date he did not walk me to my door.
I think Mr Smarmy has reached new levels of stalkerness in looking up my address. It is becoming very clear Policemen are a certain breed and from my experience should be avoided at all costs – if for whatever reason ‘What about’ and I don’t work I want anyone to slap me if I so much as look at a uniform again.
Hopefully it will work out though as I’m one smitten kitten 🙂